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NETWORKING
WITH
PARITOSH PATHAK

Episode 4 : The Networking Paradox

The biggest gap in the world of networking is the value and action gap. Meaning a lot of people understand the value of networking. They realize how important networking is for their success, but somehow the right action just doesn't happen. Is this happening with you that you know, networking is important but you aren't doing nearly enough of it? If that's the case, let's crack this today, now. See if any one of these things you can relate to. Let's say maybe you feel that you have a good network, perhaps, but you're not able to leverage it. Or let's say you feel that you've got access to some really valuable people, but you're not able to build the right relationships with them. Or you feel that networking is important for you, but for some reason you're actually not able to start doing it. 

And maybe, just maybe, you're part of networking platforms or you attend events and for some reason they don't work for you. They don't create the kind of value that the world talks about. Why is this going on? What's going on? Why is this happening? What if I told you that the reason behind all of this is just one single common reason and working on that one area can potentially have a game changing impact on your business, on your career. But then again, when I tell you what this is, you're going to go, oh, I've heard of this so many times, not the same thing again. But it is that important. That's why we have to discuss it. And it is your goal. Yeah, your goals. 

The reason a lot of people do not network well enough is because they don't have clarity on their goals. Or I can say it the other way around, that people who've got crystal clarity on their goals are the people who end up networking very well. And if I turn this around a little bit, if you don't want to hear the word goals right now, then let me go to the word why. What is your why of networking once your why is clear, oh boy, it can have a game changing effect. And this, by the way, doesn't just apply to networking. It applies to everything, every area of your life. The only way the right action will follow into your life is when you have a clarity of why that action needs to come in. 

You can call it your goal, you can call it your why, whatever. Okay, so let's dive into this today. Number one, understand this, that it's not about having a goal. It's about having an absolute clarity on your goal. What most people have, what they think that they have as goals, are actually ideas, right? These are wishes, they are desires. They're not really goals. A lot of people are just busy doing things, just dealing with today. And they are confusing hard work with progress. Yeah, they're doing a lot of hard work, I'm not going to deny that. But they're confusing it with progress. See, for progress to happen, you need to know how the action that you're taking today is contributing to where you want to go in life. 

And if you're going through the day just taking action and not having this clarity as to why you're taking this action in the long term context, how's this action going to contribute to your long term success, then you're just busy. A lot of people are not running a business, they're running a business. Okay? So that's one within this, understand that there are some people who have clarity of goal as well, but then along with that, they have a lot of excuses that go along with that. Okay, yeah, I want to do this, but I can't get up at five in the morning. Yeah, I want to network, but I don't really enjoy that space. People are very pushy. I don't want to do this. I want to become big, but I just can't take care of my health. 

Just like I'm addicted to food, etc. So having clarity of goal is part one, but then you can't have excuses along with it. Now very few people have the combination of absolute clarity and no excuses. When you put these two things together, amazing stuff starts to happen, right? These are the people who know exactly where they want to go and they are clear that nothing's going to come in the way. And only when this happens, the right action is going to follow. And once again, I'm going to say this. This is not limited to networking. It applies in every single area of your life. Yeah. Let's go to two. Now, how do you go about setting a goal? Right? 

There's a lot of knowledge out there in the world, and I think this is one of the oldest topics in the world of goal setting. I don't know of any trainer or coach who doesn't talk about it. Okay. And yet despite so many people talking about books, trainers, coaches, organizations, leaders, people at home, everybody's talking about it. And yet this is still a mystery. How do we actually go about setting a goal? Let me give you my context on it. I believe that you should just have one goal. Just one big goal, right? And this has got to be something that I call your highest best. So if I put it in a very simple context, you got to be able to answer this one question. Where you want to be when you retire at your highest best, right? 

Where do you want to be? And once you answer that's the only thing you should be going after. I don't believe in short term goals. I don't believe in midterm goals. I'm very clear. You got to have just one goal. That's the kind of goal for which you should be saying that. Hey, Perth, you know what this is what I want to achieve. I want to go there, and I may die on the way, not get there. That's okay, but this is what I want. You gotta have that kind of clarity and then include everything in this. When I talk about goal setting, I talk about something called the trinity of life. Three areas. On the top is you. And then one side is your relationships, and one side is your work. 

These three things have to come together in your goal. So let me ask you at your highest best when you retire, where you want to be, what kind of person you want to be, what kind of relationships you want to have, and what kind of work, money, success, name, fame you want to have. Identify that, but just have that one. Just one, nothing else. See, the problem with short term goals is like this. Let me explain this to you. Let's say you want to go for a holiday. And you say, okay, let me pack my bags. And you start moving. And you get from one city to another. And you get to the other, and you say, okay, now where do I want to go? Okay. Then you start making a plan for another city.

 

And then you say, now where do I want to go? When you reach the city too. Now, this is not the way for you to have a holiday. Of course, if you're looking for a random trip every now and then, it's okay. But you're far more likely to have a great holiday if you're clear about where you are, where you want to go, what all you need to pack, is your hotel booked? Is the route clear, everything? You're far more likely to reach there, have a great time, and actually reach there faster. And the same thing applies to your goals. Why are you going around living one year, two years, three years at a time? You got to be clear where you want to end up and let everything fall in place for that. Magic of this is that it gives you focus. 

Absolute, crystal clear focus like none other. It takes away your busyness, the random things that you're doing, right? And I want to put it like this, that when you have a big enough goal, small enough things stop bothering you. Or when you don't have big enough goals, small enough things start to bother you. So that everyday drama, clients doing this, employees doing that, team members doing this, manager doing that, all of that is baffling you today. Because probably, maybe, I'm guessing here, you're just trying to live one day at a time without really knowing where you're going. Okay, change that. Now, the third thing that you have to do is discover something that I call your milestones. Now, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is take your goals and convert them into actions. Don't do that. 

If you've been doing that, if you're saying that, okay, this is what I achieve. And to achieve this, here are the steps I'm taking. No. From your goals needs to come something called milestones. So let's say you want to build a 1000 crore company. Now, the question is what all needs to happen for you to build a 1000 crore company? Yes, you need to have sales. I get that. Okay. But do you need to have a great team, an amazing team for that company to get built. So building that kind of team is one of your milestones. Do you need to have absolutely amazing branding, great product, a research and R and D department, global presence awards and recognitions. Now, success is a combination of certain things coming together. Do you know what those things are? 

And if you don't, this is where a good amount of your time, focus and energy needs to go. Whatever your goal is, answer this question: what events, situations, circumstances need to come together for that goal to be achieved? And then you create your action plan for the milestones, not for the goals. And out here you need to answer this question: what role is networking going to play in helping you achieve that success? Right? This is where networking, the clarity on networking starts to come in when networking becomes a milestone. When you realize that, hey, if I want to get there, one of my milestones is having great customer relationships. Okay? Second is great credibility in the industry, in the market. Okay? Now you will understand why you have to network. 

And you'll start to see that without this piece of networking coming together, probably your goal is going to get a lot more difficult. And when that clarity comes in, you'll start taking action on networking. And this is the missing piece. Why do a lot of people value networking but don't take action? Right? See, networking isn't just something that you can wake up one day and do you really need to build a network. Before you actually start networking, you need to know who you want to network with, where you want to network with. And to do all of that, you have to backtrack it. It has to be connected to your goal. So there you go. Let's recap. So one, stop running away from this. Take time out and face your goals. Right? 

I know this creates a lot of mental emotional pressure because people are like, oh my God, I don't know what I want to do. And again, I'm being asked to set goals. Well, yes, it is that important. No one else can do this for you. Only you can, right? And then just find one thing, just one thing, your highest, best. When you want to retire, where you want to be. Everything else is noise. Everything else is noise. Learn to say no to everything that doesn't help you get there. And three, discover your milestones. Create action plans for your milestones and not for your goals. Okay, cool. So this has been another interesting perspective on networking, and I'd love to hear from you what you thought about it. Drop your comments on this podcast. 

Let me know what you thought about it and how it has helped you. All right? Take care. God bless. Happy networking. Bye. 

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