Why don't people like me?"- Many people face this question while networking or in social situation which can also be a big reason for their social anxiety or awkwardness?
If you want to move from "Do people like me?" to "How to be super likeable?", read on..
My first advice is - Stop overthinking.
I am sharing a few nuggets of wisdom that would make people like you instantly in your professional networks.
First- Work on your physical appearance.
Think of all the professional or social gathering you have been to. Who got your attention first or who you thought you would just go and talk to? It was the best dresses or best looking person on the floor.
A handsome man is likely to earn 13% more in his professional career.
A study by Daniel S. Hamermesh, a noted economist and the father of pulchronomics, i.e. the economic study of beauty, in his book - Beauty Pays, asserts that that more attractive or better -looking people are more successful than no-challengers.
I don't have any bias against anyone, but can't look away from the hard facts. I am just trying to serve my purpose to help people guide to things that matter for their success. If looking good, fit and sharp is that, so, no apologies.
Second- Have an open Body Language.
Why? Because your body language is the first thing people notice about you.
Smile at someone, go forward and make a firm handshake- is the best open language you can have.
Some of the body languages that you must avoid totally to make people open up to you are –
Your hands crossed or in your pockets.
A limp handshake
Standing cross legged
Putting hands on your mouth while talking
Looking down or sideways while talking to someone.
Third - Build rapport with people.
For that you need to be a good conversationist. Well, that doesn't mean that you need to talk, talk, talk... The art is that you need to Get people talking about what they love.
So, carrying your own bag of conversation starters will do good. Try these 3 hack and you will NEVER RUN OUT OF things to talk about.
Try ‘reminds me of’. Yes, the moment your mind goes blank, and you don’t know what to say, look around for something interesting and say..
“You know, that reminds me of….and fill in the blank”. This is a great conversation starter you can also use to add to/build upon the other person’s point.
Next ask open ended questions to start new thread of conversation. For example, why, what & how can be good conversation builders. Example,
“Why you chose to be a motivational speaker….?”,
“What’s your opinion about …..?”
The best of all is - What’s your story? – This is one open ended question that never fails.
This tells you are genuinely interested in them, and people do like to talk about themselves.
The third hack – Try guessing something positive about the person you are talking to. For example -
“I think your kids must be getting a lot of motivation from you.”
“You seem to be artistic. I guess your home must be reflecting that too.”
Third- Compliment people.
Compliment your professional colleagues on what they have earned, their work and quality not about what they possess.
"You looking very good."
"You are so charming."
"I read your book. It was indeed very informative. "
"Congrats on your new position. All due to your hard work and perseverance."
Be genuine when give praises. And when you do that, you make their day, and they will not only like you but will love you.
Last - Charm people with your sense of humour.
I don’t mean crack silly jokes. But being witty and making people laugh at their own words is a quality that can make you star in your professional networks.
How to develop this quality? Find some fun filled friends with great sense of humour. Humour is something that really rubs on you very fast. Watch some sitcoms or stand ups. But, make sure you don't offend people by cracking some racial or sexist comments.
Essence is, it’s not about you, it’s about how you make people feel about them.
Start using these techniques with people you meet next, and you will surely make it to their hearts.